Hey Critic
by MinnieLover
Summary: Nostalgia Critic and The Cinema Snob set out to review a movie, but they get something more out of it.  Inspired by the Leprechaun review.


"Hey Critic leprechaun review was fun. Want to do another one sometime?"

This was the text message that the Nostalgia Critic, aka Doug Walker, received from the Cinema Snob, aka Brad Jones, a week after the joint review of the tremendously stupid movie Leprechaun was posted to the website. Doug felt pretty good about the review, thinking it was the best one he had posted in a while. He enjoyed the back and forth that he and the Snob seemed to have and the way they played off each other. The people watching the review seemed to enjoy it as well, but Doug didn't take those user comments all that seriously. In any case, it seemed the Snob (that was how Doug thought of Brad in his head, God help him) wanted to do another review, which Doug was all for. He loved the fact that starting up his own comedy site had brought like-minded people together. Many of them shared an almost familial closeness with each other, with Brad and Doug being no exception. They had gone to sports bars with other reviewers from the site more than once, and usually ended up sequestered in a corner talking about the shittiest movies from the last fifteen years. Doug felt he was more of a movie snob than Brad was, since he had come to expect at least fairly good writing and acting in his movies. Brad just seemed like a glutton for punishment; some of the movies he had seen and reviewed would make the intelligent part of Doug's brain melt. Still, it took resilience to weather so many bad-quality movies just so he could entertain other people. He texted Brad back with "yeah, what movie were you thinking?" He got a reply not too long after that said "Ive got the perfect thing in mind".

"Cane Toads? Are you serious?" Doug said laughingly once Brad showed up to Doug's apartment and brandished the movie cover proudly.

"It's fucking great, have you seen it? It's this weird, awkward Australian thing that shows toads fucking the entire time."

"Oh, well, I'm glad you brought that over then." Doug felt oddly loopy and excited, like a friend he hadn't seen for ages had come over. He had seen Brad only a few nights earlier when they went to see Red Riding Hood so they could make fun of it the entire time if it was bad (which of course it was). They sat down to watch the movie and had a damn good time laughing at the awkwardness and coming up with jokes they knew would go over well. It was roughly 9:30 by the time it was through, and Doug couldn't help feeling breathless from laughing so much, as well as an inner glow he had no way of explaining. He didn't usually feel this way when he spent time with male friends; he chalked it up to a good night with much relief from stress involved. He was really glad he had Brad as a friend.

"Hey, Critic?" Brad said in an exaggeratedly cheeky tone.

"Yeah, Snob?"

"Do you ever feel like…watching these movies is more work than anything? Coming up with the right lines and filming and editing it all together by deadline?"

"Yeah, but I love doing it. It feels like being an actor, but on my own terms. It's so much fun."

"I know it is. But when was the last time you sat and watched a movie with someone without analyzing it or having to take notes?"

"Well, I basically always analyze movies unconsciously. The last time I saw a movie with someone…" Doug trailed off uncomfortably. It had been a while since he had someone to watch a movie with and just relax. It seems like his work had eaten up any chance he had of a relationship working.

Brad got up from the couch to give Doug a moment and started to browse the movie collection lining the walls. "Oh my God", he said, picking up a DVD of Monsters, Inc., "I actually liked this movie."

"Really? None of the adults I know seemed to."

"Yeah, but how many adults do you know that watch kids' movies more or less for a living?"

"Just me, basically," Doug said with a laugh.

"Well, I have nothing to do beyond this tonight, so why don't we watch this and act like overgrown kids for a while?"

There was that glow again. It made Doug feel slightly strange, but it felt too good to have anything harmful behind it.

"Yo, Critic?" Brad broke Doug's reverie with a little smile on his face. "You still with us?"

"Yeah, Monsters, Inc. is great. Start it up."

"I'll let you." Brad pushed the DVD into Doug's hands, leaning in and becoming very close to Doug in the process. For a flicker of an instant, Doug thought he saw some recognition in Brad's eyes. A moment later, though, Brad was seated on the circular carpet in front of the TV. Doug broke into a huge grin.

"What do you think we have the couch for?"

"Hey, if we're going to be kids, we may as well sit in front of the TV and destroy our eyes."

"We both already have glasses. I think it's too late for that."

"Just put it on."

As the movie played and Doug and Brad sat near each other, bathed by the glow of the screen, Doug's stomach would not stop squirming.

"Oh, man, what the hell is with me? Do I like him now? What is he gonna think of me if I do anything—"

Doug jumped as Brad reached for the remote to turn it up slightly. He glanced at Doug and gave him a small grin, making Doug's heart leap.

"Now I'm acting like a 14-year-old girl. Maybe I do like him, but I highly doubt he-"

"Hey, Critic?"

"Yeah, Snob?" The names seemed to give a sense of safety to the conversation.

"I'm not in the habit of bullshitting anyone I care about. Is that ok?"

"Uh…yeah, sure."

Brad carefully scooted across the carpet so he would come to sit directly behind Doug. Once this was done, he folded his arms around the Critic's waist and laid his head in the crook of Doug's shoulder. Doug breathed sheer happiness and relief, not believing the feeling could really be mutual. Brad breathed heavily, a sure sign of relief on his part as well. "I like you" he whispered deeply to Doug. Doug turned his head up just a bit, and Brad gripped the underside of Doug's chin and brought their lips together. The two kissed in this position for what seemed like ages, and finally Brad stopped and opened his eyes with a start. "What?" Doug breathed in a low voice. Brad reached down to unzip his pants, and Doug did the same with his own. Brad reached under Doug's plain white shirt and roamed his hands across Doug's chest. He was impressed with Doug's amount of muscle, and was hard almost within seconds. Doug gripped Brad's cock through his boxers and stroked it powerfully. Brad bit his lip with pleasure but stayed Doug's hand. "I'll finish too fast that way. Lay down on the couch." Doug did as Brad said, pulling off his boxers with one hand. Brad wet two fingers and stroked the crack of Doug's ass, sliding his fingers in easily. Doug moaned fiercely, feeling a jolt as he got even harder. Brad flipped Doug over by his shoulders, got on his knees and raised Doug's legs to his shoulders. Doug dug his fingers into the couch in anticipation, and Brad slipped his large cock inside. They gained a rhythm quickly, and Brad thrust faster and faster. Doug moaned louder with every thrust, wishing he had something firmer to grip. Brad grabbed Doug's hips, pushing Doug's legs even further. Doug moaned in pain, saying it was too much. Brad only looked at in his eyes and said "trust me". Doug gave a quick nod and felt the pain turn into pleasure. He came soon after, and so did Brad, with a grimace. Brad gently let Doug's legs down, kissing his thigh gently. Doug lay, panting and spent, feeling amazing after such a great fuck. Brad wiped the sweat from his own brow and kissed Doug, who gave him a satisfied smile.

They lay entwined for some time after, letting their hands roam as they wished but mostly laying and listening to each other's heartbeats. They feel asleep around midnight, lying naked on Doug's couch. In the morning, Brad got dressed and left Doug to do some necessary work for the site. They hugged for a few minutes and kissed tenderly in the kitchen; Brad ran his hands through Doug's still-messy hair. Before leaving, he called back to Doug with "Hey, Critic?"

"Yeah, Snob?" he said with an enormous grin.

"Wear the tie next time."


End file.
